Monday, October 01, 2007

原來, 一家人一起看電視, 就是世上最幸福的事.

或者是太多事想說, 又或是根本沒有心情去寫, 總之, 還是經過了兩個多月, 我才真真正正的坐下來, 整理一下自己的思緒.

這兩個月, 上天用了嚴厲的方法, 給我上了生命中最寶貴, 亦是我無論以甚麼代價都不想上的一課.

人, 始終是 '犯jin'的動物, 不懂珍惜身邊take for granted 的事物, 直至面對失去的一刻, 才轟然醒覺, 後悔之前的種種不是.

自問都算是個顧家的年輕人, weekend 除了考試的日子, 都會make sure at least 有一天留給家人. 但回想那一天, 我的心依然刀割般的痛.

爸爸雖然算不上是運動型的人, 但生活一直都算得上十分檢點. 事發前一天才和我去了做gym. 不要說是aortic dissection, even 是冠心病我也會很shock. 但這一回上天卻跟這個我心目中幾乎從來都沒有動搖過的top idol 開了一個天大的玩笑.

爸爸從來在我心目中都是一個終極的role model. 在公司中, 他從來都不會罵人, 卻能夠令一班同事give their best + 心悅誠服的完成一個又一個的mission impossible. 還記得後來探病, 每一個來看爸爸的同事都對他讚不絕口(even 在病房外等時都不斷的跟我說), 我真的很想說:dad I am damn PROUD to be your son!!!.

雖然那天趕到QEH前我已經read up 了一些information and data. 不過當cardiothoracic surgeon 跟我們一家人解釋了情況和手術風險後, 我實在受不了, 一直壓著的情緒一下子崩潰了. die on table 30%, major stroke 50% renal failure 30-50%. 對一個MS來說, 這些只是一連串的數子, 那一刻, 那些對我來說卻是一把把插進心膛的利劍.

面對自已的生死, 爸爸卻非常平靜, 他擔心的不是自己, 更沒有denial, 他擔心的是嫲嫲, 媽媽和我. 入手術室前, 爸爸望著我和媽嫣, 說一定要看著我畢業.

伴著爸爸入手術室的, 除了媽媽和我和其他家人的支持, 還有爸爸無比的決心, 最後, 上天放過了他, 亦給了我們一個幾會.

Daddy, 我不會令你失望, 一定會做一個令你驕傲的醫生.

今天晚上, 我們一家人在家中看煙花. 原來, 一家人一起看電視, 就是世上最幸福的事.

6 comments:

sunny said...

true.
and I start to understand something too...
may God bless you.

Unknown said...

i am so touched after reading ur entry..v true..
nth worth more than our cloest one.

i try my bez to have dinner with my family tonite too!!*feel so warm*

millions of support*!
support support support!*

Unknown said...

oh i am tracy ar

Unknown said...

you are tough, eric.... i'm sure u will be very very very fine.
pray for ur dad and ur family. ^^

Anonymous said...

Your passage.... I'm really afraid that when I read till the end there will be sad news.... but so good that he has overcome and still can watch firework with you!
ya.. life is so fragile... today i read the xanga of my other friend, she went to france for a religious trip.. and her romanian friends passed away on their way back home.........
hope you will be a good doctor and try your best to save more lives:)

Anonymous said...

eric, i just drop by & then this entry come to my eyes. hope that ur father is doing well now.
and dun feel too bad.
May God bless him & ur family.